Zig Ziglar Articles

Using Your Time

I'm frequently asked how I can be so productive in the business world and still have time for my personal and family life. The answer is that during my frequent travels I am an absolute "workaholic." When I get home I am then free to do things with my family and enjoy my personal life.

As I write this, I'm returning from a speaking engagement in Memphis. On the flight to Memphis I spent the entire time planning the presentation I was going to make. While there I was busy but still managed to read for an hour before bed. On the return trip I wrote notes for articles. I started dictating this article before I left Dallas and later gave it to my Executive Assistant, Laurie Magers. On the way home I stopped by my office, picked up my mail and headed home to take my wife to lunch. After lunch my son and I, along with a friend, played 18 holes of golf. After the golf game my wife and I had a long, quiet dinner, during which she had my undivided attention.

I give you these details to emphasize the fact that concentrating on my profession (job) when I'm away from my family enables me to focus on my family when I'm with them. This approach allows me to be more effective in both areas. It will do the same thing for you. Roger Staubach told me that he made his best grades at Annapolis during football season. His time was so limited because of football that he quickly learned to utilize every moment and focus on the task at hand to reach his objectives and to maintain his standing at Annapolis. Buy this approach and I will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Zig Ziglar is a beloved author and America’s motivator. He is the author of 25 books and offers training and consulting to organizations all across the globe. To learn more about Zig and his business visit his website at www.ziglar.com

Little Things

A gentleman I know quite well had an interesting experience recently. His wife was recuperating at home from surgery and maintaining a light schedule. She could move about but getting up and down and bending were particularly painful. A couple of days after she came home from the hospital he was up early in the morning and went downstairs for a cup of coffee. His favorite cup was in the dishwasher and as he retrieved it he noticed that the dishwasher was full of clean dishes. Remembering that his wife was recuperating, he unloaded the dishwasher which only took about five minutes.

After finishing his coffee he went back to the bedroom to get ready for work and left before his wife went to the kitchen. That evening when he returned home she gave him a big hug and thanked him profusely for what he had done. She said, "Honey, I cried when I realized I would not have to bend over all of those times and lift those dishes out." He had made a simple gesture, but it spoke volumes to his wife. It indicated that he genuinely cared for her, her comfort and well-being. It was not monumental but isn't it true that the "little things" make the big difference in life?

Think about it. If your watch is slow by just four minutes, that's not much - unless you've been warned that if you're even one minute late ever again you will be fired. Then four minutes make a big difference.

The message is simple but clear: Be sensitive to the needs of others and remember the "little things" in life because they make big differences. Take that approach to life and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Positive Thinking

Just what can positive thinking do? To be candid, some people have given positive thinking a bad name. I can't stand to hear some gung-ho individual say that with positive thinking you can just do "anything." If you think about that one for a moment, you recognize the absurdity of it. As a ridiculous example, I'm a positive thinker, but I could never slam-dunk a basketball or perform major surgery - or even minor surgery - on anyone and expect that person to survive. Nate Newton, the 300-plus pound lineman for the Dallas Cowboys is positive, optimistic and outgoing but he'd be a complete failure as a jockey or a ballet dancer.

It's safe to say that positive thinking won't let you do "anything." However, it is even safer to say that positive thinking will let you do "everything" better than negative thinking will. Positive thinking will let you use the ability which you have, and that is awesome. It works this way. You can walk into a dark room, flip on the switch and immediately the room is lighted. Flipping the switch did not generate the electricity; it released the electricity which had been stored. Positive thinking works that way - it releases the abilities which you have.

The student who hasn't studied and prepared for the test won't be helped by "thinking positively." However, positive thinking will help the student who has studied and prepared by "releasing" the stored knowledge when the questions are asked. To express it in a different way, knowledge breeds confidence; confidence breeds enthusiasm; and enthusiasm is an important key to being and doing more with your life.

Buy the positive approach to life and I will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Problems vs. Opportunities

Be grateful for your problems. We all frequently deal with people who complain about the trials and tribulations of their daily lives. Life seems to be one big problem for them. I would like to take a common-sense, realistic approach and address this mind-set. If there were no "problems" on your job, then your employer would hire a much less capable person than you to do the routine things that don't require much thought. In the business world, those who are able to solve complex problems are the ones who have the most value to the employer.

Many times the problems or challenges we face force us to grow and become more capable. The runner who trains for the mile run in the Olympics by running downhill will have no chance of winning the medal. The runner who trains by running uphill is far more likely to develop the speed, mental toughness and endurance which it takes to win the medal.

The best thing that ever happened to boxer Gene Tunney was that he broke both of his hands in the ring. His manager felt that he could never again punch hard enough to be the heavyweight champion. Instead, Tunney decided that he would become a scientific boxer and win the title as a boxer, not a slugger. Boxing historians will tell you that he developed into one of the best boxers who ever fought. They also will tell you that as a puncher, he would not have had a chance against Jack Dempsey, who was considered by many to be the hardest hitter in heavyweight history. Tunney would never have been champion had he not had the problem of his broken hands.

Message: The next time you encounter a difficult climb, obstacle, "problem," you should smile and say, "Here's my chance to grow." Develop that kind of an attitude and I will SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Appearance

Okay - I admit it - this one is extreme. Several years ago before I realized that my body retains ice cream, my wife and I were in our favorite ice cream parlor. An unusual-looking young man walked through the front door. In my lifetime I have never seen anything like it. His hair was sticking out in every direction and came to a point at the top so sharp that it was dangerous. He had every imaginable color represented - green, purple, orange, red, lavender, black - it was really a sight to behold!

Right about now you might think I'm being critical. In reality, I'm not. I am simply reporting what I saw. Actually, I believe the young man had every right to look exactly as he did. That's what America is all about. As a matter of fact, I would go to war to fight for that young man's right to look exactly as he did. You bet I would! However, I would not give that young man a job, regardless of how capable he might be. He would be such a distraction that I don't believe the other members of my staff would get much work done.

Here's the point: It's my conviction that most employers would take the same approach, so when the young man chose to look that way, he chose to eliminate 98% of his employment opportunities. Message: If you want a job, in most places you need to survey the market, observe how the other people appear when they go to work, and within reason, follow their example. In most places substantial latitude is allowed for individuality but there are limits. When you cross the line your chances of employment go down substantially. Think about it. Take the appropriate action and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

Hitting the Bull's Eye

Somebody once said the difference between a big shot and little shot is that the big shot was the little shot who kept on shooting. There's much truth in that witticism. The reality is, no matter what our target might be, we seldom hit it on the first try unless the target is low, which means the accomplishment--and the rewards--will be insignificant.

In bow shooting, experienced archers test the wind by using the first shot to judge its strength and direction, enabling them to zero in on the target with their following shots. In short, archers learn from their mistakes. That's good advice for all of us. Success in business, athletics, science, politics, etc., seldom comes on the first effort. Walt Disney went bankrupt a number of times and had at least one nervous breakdown before he made it big. Athletic skills are acquired over a long period of time and after countless hours of practice. Authors by the hundreds can tell you stories by the thousands of those rejection slips before they found a publisher who was willing to "gamble" on an unknown.

It's more than just a cliché that persistent, enthusiastic effort produces powerful, positive results, that failure is an event--not a person--and that the only time you must not fail is the last time you try. Whatever your target might be, chances are good that you're not going to hit the bull's eye on the first effort you make at being "successful." The key is persistence and the willingness to try again in the face of those early misses.

You can learn from those early mistakes and if you do keep on shooting, it's just a question of time before you, too, are hitting the bull's eye.

Worry

Worry has been described as "interest paid on trouble before it comes due." One of America's worst enemies is worry. Worry is like a rocking chair; it requires a lot of energy, and it gets you nowhere. Leo Buscaglia said, "Worry never robs tomorrow of its sorrow, it only saps today of its joy."

Question: Are you a worrier? Americans take more pills to forget more worries about more things than ever before and more than people in any other nation in history. That's bad. According to Dr. Charles Mayo, "Worry affects the circulation and the whole nervous system. I've never known a man who died from overwork, but I've known many who have died from doubt." Doubt always creates worry, and in most cases, lack of information raises the doubt.

Life is much like Christmas. You're more apt to get what you expect than what you want.

Mathematically speaking, it really doesn't make sense to worry. Psychologists and other researchers tell us that roughly 40 percent of what we worry about will never happen and 30 percent has already happened. Additionally, 12 percent of our worries are over unfounded health concerns. Another 10 percent of our worries involve the daily miscellaneous fretting that accomplishes nothing. That leaves only 8 percent. Plainly speaking, Americans are worrying 92 percent of the time for no good reason, and if Dr. Mayo is right, it's killing us.

One solution that will reduce your worry is this: Don't worry about what you can't change. Example: For a number of years I've flown in excess of 200,000 miles a year. On occasion, flights are canceled or delayed. As I write this, I'm sitting on the runway waiting for my gate to clear. If I worry or get angry, nothing will change. If I take constructive action and finish this article, I'm ahead of the game. That's a positive way to use the energy that I would have wasted on anger, frustration, or worrying.

The message is clear: If you don't like your situation in life, don't fret or worry--do something about it. Worry less, and act more.

SUCCESS - What it is and isn't

What is success? It is many things to many people. Here are a few signs of success:

Success is closing the door to your office at the end of the day with a smile of satisfied contentment crossing your face. It’s knowing that you did a good job and that those who interacted with you had a positive experience.
Success is looking forward to getting home and seeing the people you love. It’s being mentally and emotionally free to share yourself with them and to be interested in them. Success is being loved by the people you love.
Success is sitting down to pay the bills and knowing that you have enough money to cover them, this month and next month. It’s knowing that you have taken measures to ensure the financial security of your family in the event of your demise.
Success is knowing where to turn when it seems that there’s nowhere to turn. Having a spiritual life is akin to eating food and drinking water. It’s necessary!
Success is having interests or hobbies to call your own. It’s things that you personally anticipate doing again and again. Having interests gives you job and peace.
Success is waking up in the morning and feeling food. It’s knowing that you eat right and exercise regularly and that you do everything you personally can to ensure continued good health.
Success is turning out the lights, slipping under the covers, and thinking to yourself, “It just doesn’t get much better than this!” It’s whispering a prayer of gratitude to your Creator before you fall into a deep, restful sleep.

And here are a few things that success is not:

Success isn’t calling home from work for the fourth time this week, apologizing because you’re going to miss dinner with the family again.
Success isn’t hurrying into the house and hiding behind closed doors or the television set because “After the day I’ve had, I need my space!”
Success isn’t having all the riches in the world and still trying to figure out how to have more of all the riches in the world.
Success isn’t physically going to a worship service and mentally writing a to-do list for when you get home.
Success isn’t all work and no play.
Success isn’t burning the candle at both ends and living on a diet of food that’s delivered through little windows.
Success isn’t spending mental energy figuring out how to explain why your project isn’t going to come in on time, why you have to miss your child’s school play, why you can’t pay the bill in full as you promised, why your eyes are red and your blood pressure is going through the roof, why you’re canceling your golf game, and why you just don’t find any joy in living.

Success is directly related to having a balanced life. If any one area is out of sync, all the areas of your life suffer. Take the time to examine your life and take small steps to gain balance.

Recognizing Potential

A New York businessman dropped a dollar into the cup of a man selling pencils and hurriedly stepped aboard the subway train. On second thought, he stepped back off the train, walked over to the beggar and took several pencils from the cup. Apologetically, he explained that in his haste he had neglected to pick up his pencils and hoped the man wouldn’t be upset with him. “After all,” he said, “you are a businessman just like myself. You have merchandise to sell and it’s fairly priced.” Then he caught the next train.

At a social function a few months later, a neatly-dressed salesman stepped up to the businessman and introduced himself. “You probably don’t remember me and I don’t know your name, but I will never forget you. You are the man who gave me back my self-respect. I was a “beggar” selling pencils until you came along and told me I was a businessman.”

A wise man said, “A lot of people have gone further than they thought they could because someone else thought they could.” How do you see others? The greatest good we can do for anyone is not to share our wealth with them, but rather to reveal their own wealth to them. It’s astonishing how much talent and ability rests inside a human being. Just as the first step to success is knowing your own potential, the second step is knowing the potential of others. Fortunately, as we recognize our own ability, it’s easy to recognize the ability of others. Once we see it, we can help them discover it for themselves.

Survival Tactics

The giraffe is the largest mammal that gives birth while standing up. I don't speak "giraffe," but I can imagine what the baby giraffe must think when he bounces on the ground from that great height. He just left warm, cushioned quarters in which all his needs, comforts and security were provided. Now he finds himself bouncing off (comparatively speaking) hard, cold, unwelcoming ground.

Almost immediately thereafter, a new trauma occurs in the baby giraffe's life. As he struggles to his knees, Mama Giraffe gets busy "persuading" him to stand up. She does this as he wobbles to his feet by giving him a swift kick to prod him to faster action. No sooner does he reach his feet than Mama delivers a booming kick that knocks the baby giraffe back down. . . . I can well imagine the baby giraffe thinking, "Well, make up your mind, Mom! First you kicked me to make me stand up. Then you kicked me back down!"

That process is repeated several times because Mama Giraffe loves her baby. . . . Mama Giraffe knows that the only chance for survival her baby has is to be able to quickly get up and move out of harm's way. Yes, kicking the baby up and down seems like a strange way to show love. But for a baby giraffe it is the ultimate expression of love.

Caution: That approach definitely won't work in the "people" world, but the principle will. Real love is evidenced when you do what is best for the other person, whether or not they appreciate it at that moment. Think about it and I'll SEE YOU AT THE TOP!

The Right Mental Attitude

An old Ann Landers column contains some excellent advice from one of her readers. This lady said that at one time she assumed that a wealthy woman whom she only knew slightly was an arrogant snob because she rarely spoke and never smiled. She also had the feeling that the woman in the supermarket with the whining children was a lousy mother. "Then," she said, "one day I stood in line at the grocery store. I noticed that the clerk never smiled at the customers and ignored light conversation." She said, "I was tempted to tell her what I thought of her sour attitude when the elderly woman in front of me took a different approach. She said, 'Honey, you look like you're having a bad day.' The clerk looked up with the saddest eyes I've ever seen and said, 'My husband lost his job yesterday and I just found out I am pregnant.' The lady patted her hand and said, 'Dear, things will work out.' When it was my turn," she said, "the clerk had tears in her eyes, but she smiled, and I felt ashamed of myself for being so intolerant." Then the lesson she teaches is significant. She said, "That instant made me realize that people usually aren't rude because they're mean and want to make my life miserable. They are unpleasant because they have problems on their mind and a heavy heart. My entire outlook changed that day and I am now much more compassionate." She said, "I now assume the frowning woman might be worried about the results of a biopsy. The rude young driver could be on his way to the emergency room to meet an injured relative, and the distracted mother with the screaming child in the supermarket may need my smile and a kind word. Perhaps the only one she will get all day." This reader said, "This change in my attitude has made those around me happier, but the greatest benefit is mine. I am less angry and more serene, and I like myself better than I used to."

I can certainly relate to what this dear lady was saying. A few years ago when I was doing an early-morning seminar, I greeted the young woman who was guarding the backstage door with a cheerful "Good morning, how are you doing?" She said, "I'm not doing well. I hate to be here." I confidently, cheerfully and arrogantly said to her, "Well, think about it this way. There are some people who don't have any kind of job doing any thing, so maybe you'll feel better with that thought." The young woman looked at me and said, "Look, I'm not ready for any of your 'positive thinking.' I'm having an extremely tough time." As I walked away I thought to myself, "Boy! What a lousy attitude!" However, as I pondered it during the next few minutes I realized that what she needed was some empathy, somebody to say, "Is there anything I can do?" or, "I'm sorry things are not going your way." I went back at my earliest possible moment to apologize to the young woman. Unfortunately, she was gone. That's one of the reasons today I talk a great deal more about the right attitude in addition to having a positive attitude. In that particular incident, my relationship with that young woman, and the possibility of giving her any real encouragement later, was destroyed because I was so intent on saying what I had to say and not really empathetic to her problem. Relationships are built on putting yourself in the other person's position and trying to, as the old Indian adage says, "You won't know another person until you've walked in his moccasins at least one day." Try to imagine how he or she must feel and you can deal with them more effectively and get along with them far better – and feel better about yourself in the process.

Talking to Yourself

One of the most moving experiences of my life took place on Sept. 13, 1997, when I was autographing books. . .One lady who asked for an autograph had such a compelling expression on her face that I knew I had to listen carefully to what she had to say. She shared with me that when she got the self-talk card that was included in one of my audiotape programs, she couldn't even read the first list of qualities that she was supposed to claim.

Throughout her life she had been so beaten down by her family and husband that it was impossible for her to believe that she had the character and success qualities that I identified. It took two or three weeks of listening to the tapes to build herself up to the point where she could look herself in the eye and claim that she was an honest, intelligent, goal-setting person. . . .She continued to claim additional qualities until she could go through the entire list of 60-plus positive qualities. As a result, her demeanor and attitude changed dramatically. She started standing up straight, smiling, and even laughing.

Then something truly fascinating happened. Her husband watched her new attitude emerge. . .and decided maybe claiming the qualities could do the same for him. He started claiming the qualities and he, too, started to change. "He especially changed in the way he treated me," the woman told me. "Today we're getting along better than ever and are happier than we've ever been." The first part of her story was interrupted by tears. She was very emotional. In the last part of her story, as she talked about the changes in her husband and their relationship, she smiled.

The most important opinion you have is the opinion you have of yourself, and the most important conversations you will ever have are the conversations you have with yourself. . .The reality is that you cannot consistently, consciously claim all the qualities on the self-talk card without changing.

Laughter

Laughter is a great stress reducer. If you have never read Norman Cousins’s account of his experience of self-healing as described in Anatomy of an Illness, I encourage you to do so. When diagnosed with an incurable illness, he brought a movie projector into his hospital room and watched reel after reel of old classic comedy movies, laughing himself into hysterics. He found he could relieve his otherwise significant pain on a consistent basis through laughter. That practice, along with some other novel therapies, resulted in his healing. He left his prestigious journalistic career and taught on the faculty of a major medical school about the power of the mind and emotions in healing the body of disease.

Next to love, laughter has been described as the second-most powerful emotion we can express. It has been said that laughter is like internal jogging—it stimulates the respiratory system, oxygenates the body, relaxes tense muscles, and releases pleasure-producing chemicals in the brain. You cannot laugh and be mad, laugh and be tense, laugh and be stressed. Laughter is low-calorie, caffeine-free, and has no salt, preservatives, or additives. It’s 100 percent natural and one size fits all.

Laughter is truly God’s gift to humankind. You can get high on laughter but never overdose. Laughter is contagious—once it starts little can be done to stop it. Laughter never felt bad, committed a crime, started a war or broke up a relationship. Laughter is shared by the giver and the receiver. Laughter costs nothing and its non-taxable. Laughter is a trend-setter. If we can find ways to laugh first thing in the morning, it may in fact set the trend for the rest of the day.

Let me close by telling you the most important use of laughter I have ever discovered: The ability to laugh at ourselves. I stopped taking myself too seriously years ago and it was the best decision I ever made. Don’t get me wrong—I’m still serious about what I do. But not so serious that I can’t be the first one to laugh when I mess up (which happens all too often—it’s why I spend so much time laughing!). When you’re the first person to laugh at yourself, you leave little room for others to laugh at you.

Employment

In today’s job market, employers consider a multitude of factors when choosing qualified employees. They may be looking for people with a certain skill set or a certain educational background. Thanks to the power of the internet, they can perform extensive background checks, advertise jobs to millions of job seekers, and literally “shop around” for the best person to fill any opening. There have been many research studies done on what employers are looking for in an ideal employee. The one I often quote found that 85% of the reason that a person gets a job and then gets ahead in that job is due to attitude and only 15% is due to a technical skill. Employers are looking for someone who is willing to get the job done…and get it done without complaining or griping. Where are employers finding this type of employee? Many of them are looking at what they believe is a much more certain bet: graduates of faith-based colleges and universities. Here is what the Dallas Morning News has reported:

“Many employers say the moral and ethical lessons that are taught along with the academic curriculum at faith-based schools better equip graduates to become valued employees.” December 7, 2006 Dallas Morning News

“What I hear from the business people I’m dealing with is that ethics and corporate responsibility are absolutely at the top of their list when searching for new employees,” says Frank Lazarus, president of the University of Dallas. December 10, 2005 Dallas Morning News

What does this mean to you? You may not have graduated from a faith-based school, but you can show that you have the qualities that the employer is looking for. You can highlight your integrity, your responsible attitude and your positive attitude. Read what these educators are emphasizing in their schools.

“Self-esteem is founded in the value of being created in the image of God and the adoption into God’s family.” Tim Myers, Director of Student Counseling Services, Southwestern Assemblies of God University

“There was a time when the three r’s were shorthand for readin’, ‘ritin’ and ‘rithmetic, but those letters take on a new meaning in today’s faith-based schools. Respect, reverence and responsibility are the three r’s we stress for our students,” says Rosemary Seltzer, Principal of Christ the King, a 425-student k-8 school that has been challenging the minds and spirits of children for more than 60 years. The third r for responsibility reflects the expectations of the faculty and staff for the school’s students to understand their place in the community and the world, and to live what they learn in the classrooms, chapel and bible studies in word and deed.

You can strive to showcase to your employer how you exhibit the qualities discussed here. You can be respectful of the authority of your boss, even when you disagree. You can show responsibility for your work. You can demonstrate your pride in yourself and your job by showing up on time and being productive throughout the day. You can make yourself employable and grant yourself career security. Notice I did not say job security – but if you are the right kind of person - there will always be an employer willing and even eager to have you in their organization.

Pa-ZIG-ative Thinking

People who are doing better than good will be sensitive to the needs of others and do the little things that make a big difference.

Sometimes little things can make a big difference. One morning at IHOP, one of the places at which the Redhead and I periodically enjoy a late breakfast, we were served by a lady from India who was pleasant and effective. A brief conversation revealed that her husband was a medical intern and as we enjoyed our visit together we experienced a delightful breakfast.

There was then a moment when the Redhead excused herself from the table. The waitress brought me the check. I signed it and included a $10 tip. The cost of breakfast was less than the tip. When the waitress returned from the cashier, I was seated in quiet contemplation. She approached me from behind, leaned over and gave me a brief kiss on the cheek, saying, “Thank you, Sir! Thank you so much!” I was delightfully surprised.

Then it dawned on me that for me the $10 amounted to a simple “thank you.” For her it might have meant the meeting of an obligation. I always tip at least $10, regardless of whether the bill is less than that. The reason is because each of my three daughters served as waitresses while they were in school, and I well remember how thrilled they were when they received a $10 or, in some cases, a larger tip.

Sometimes when we have abundance, when we’ve been financially blessed, we neglect to value the feelings and needs of others. That little incident, which lasted only a brief moment, made a lasting impression on me—which leads to a very important point. A little kindness, a little thoughtfulness, a little compassion, can really impact the life of another person. And it takes so little time and involves such a small investment. Yet real joy can be the outcome. Little things do make a big difference.

Today I hope you will have an opportunity to say a word of encouragement, to give an extra big smile, to use a more enthusiastic tone of voice, or anything else that will give just a word of hope. The reality is, we never know but that the other person might be in the depths of despair, and a simple act of kindness could well literally be a lifesaver. In addition, it involves joy on the part of the gifter. Joy is what you experience when you do something for someone else, someone who cannot reciprocate your kindness. Think about it. Give it a shot today—and tomorrow, too!

The Talent You Already Possess

Many people do not realize that Nat "King" Cole started his musical career as a piano player. It was while he was on a trip to California, performing in a night club, that his singing career got a jump start.

The singer who was to have performed that evening was taken ill. When Cole showed up the club owner asked about the singer. When he learned the singer was sick, the club owner responded, "No singer, no check." That's the night Nat "King" Cole launched his career. Actually, he had always been a singer but had never recognized and used that talent. Those of us who remember him as a person and as a talent consider him one of the true greats in all of entertainment. His music was spell-binding, soft, melodious and heart-warming. Unforgettable titles are "Unforgettable," "Ramblin' Rose," "The Very Thought of You," "L.O.V.E.," "Straighten Up and Fly Right," "Mona Lisa," "When I Fall In Love," "Too Young," "Sweet Lorraine," "Nature Boy," "Love Letters," "For All We Know," "The Very Thought of You."

I tell this story because you might be like me, unable to carry a tune. I certainly can't, but I'm convinced that you have a song to sing, and here's hoping you will take a different view of what you can do with the talent you already possess.

Being Nice

I'm seated in the Tampa airport on Pearl Harbor Day, December 7, 2005. A gentleman recognized me and approached me saying, "Greater love hath no man for his wife than to always open her car door." That's something of a takeoff on what I've been talking about for many years, that it's the little things husbands and wives do for each other on a regular basis, not the big things once or twice a year, that breed long-term, successful marriages and lots of honeymoons instead of just anniversaries.

I believe quite strongly that is the approach we need to take. It's the little things. For many, many years I've been doing exactly that. As a matter of fact, since I first caught sight of her on September 15, 1944, at 9:08 p.m., at the YWCA in Jackson, Mississippi, I have been courting that woman of mine avidly. Two years, two months and eleven days of relentless pursuit later she finally said "yes." I'm convinced that the little things make the difference.

The Redhead and I take turns trying to outdo one another in being nice, thoughtful and helpful to each other. Simple example. On this trip, as in all trips when I'm gone for more than just the day, the Redhead has followed through on things we started doing years ago. I stopped carrying my cash in a wallet; I just fold it over and put it in one of my pants pockets. In the evening I lay the money on our bathroom counter. She counts my money and if she doesn't think I have enough to cover emergencies where cash is needed, she gets me more. Now that's not a big deal, but it's one of those little things that says an awful lot. It says, "Honey, I love you very much. You're very important to me. I will be more comfortable knowing that if there is an emergency and cash is needed, you will not be embarrassed, delayed, or perhaps endangered." That's a big thing. Little things, over the years, can make a big difference. Husbands and wives, first be faithful to each other. Second, keep the romance going all of your life by courting each other every day.

Immediately after my encounter with this gentleman in the Tampa airport, I called the Redhead to tell her about it. Her response fascinated me because it emphasizes what I'm talking about. She said, "Honey, I just want you to know I'm in the process of making you your uncooked fruit cake," which just happens to be one of my favorite of all things for the Christmas season. I really love that fruit cake! It's the only one I really do enjoy. While I was gone, there she was, thinking about what she could do for me.

Yes, when husband and wife try to outdo each other by being nice, thoughtful and attentive, it's amazing what that does to the romance!

Investing Yourself

One of the most fascinating stories I’ve ever heard comes out of Holland. The citizens in the little village of Ida in Holland were astonished when Hans Bergen died because he left an estate of $40,000 to a young girl named Anne Martin. She, of all people, was the most surprised villager of all, for she had never spoken to Hans Bergen. How could such a thing happen to her?

Well, Hans Bergen’s will told the story. It seems that one day Anne Martin smiled at him. It was the only smile he had ever received in his lifetime. Grotesquely ugly, Hans had lived a lonely, affection-starved life. His ugliness frightened and repulsed the villagers and they avoided him like the plague. Perhaps Anne Martin saw the extreme loneliness in Hans and gave him the only thing she could—a smile. It’s amazing how much we can do for others when we invest a little of ourselves in them. That builds winning relationships because people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care—about them.

Why I Love America

I turned 17 on a Saturday and applied to the Navy the following Monday when World War II was being fought. I was waving the flag then and am waving the flag today.

I’m not as avid a flag waver as third generation flag waver Tom Harken from Beaumont, Texas, and since his son now does the same thing, that makes four generations of Harkens who wave the flag like nobody I’ve ever heard of! He has three flags in front of his corporate offices and one large flag in front of each of his Crazy Jose’s and Casa Ole restaurants. Each of his employees in all of these establishments waves the flag in front of his or her home.

As a boy, Tom had a considerable number of illnesses and fell through the educational cracks. As a result, he did not learn to read until he was 28 years old. Despite this fact, through hard work and persistence, he had done well even before he could read. In 1992 he was recognized as a Horatio Alger Award winner, surely the top recognition anyone receives in America for their “rags to riches” story. Tom shared with me that he never dreamed he would earn as much money as he now contributes to a number of worthwhile charities. He is a strong advocate of literacy and preaches and contributes to it everywhere he goes. Yes, Tom Harken is one reason I love America.

I also love America because of Muggsy Bogues. At age 36, Muggsy has played in the NBA for 14 years and was a member of the Dallas Mavericks, where he was highly regarded. Despite the fact that an arthritic knee is going to keep him out of action, owner Mark Cuban wanted to keep him aboard because of his attitude, leadership abilities, and commitment to the game. Mr. Cuban figures Muggsy is the kind of guy he wants in the locker room to encourage the other guys. “They will listen to him because, first of all, anybody who can survive 14 years in the NBA is special.” Now add to that in this land of giants, and particularly on the basketball court, Muggsy is five feet, three inches tall. That’s astonishing! He gives 100% effort and coaches learned long ago to measure him not by his height, but by his heart. Only in America could a Muggsy Bogues do what he has done.

I love America because Mary Kay Ash could start a cosmetics company with the purpose of giving women a chance to create their own businesses by sharing their vision and opportunity with other women, and be well paid in the process. Outstanding performers drive pink Cadillacs, too! That’s America -- and that’s why I love it.

I love America because Neil Rudenstein became the president of Harvard University from 1991-2001. His mother is a part-time waitress and his father is a prison guard. But in America it’s not who your mother and father are; it’s who you are and what you do with what you’ve been given.

I love America because of the privileges it has given me. My mother had a fifth grade education but she was a hard working woman with lots of love and incredible wisdom. She gave me the foundation that has enabled me to visit all of the continents, speaking and writing, and to enjoy a life that was beyond my wildest imagination when I was growing up in small-town Yazoo City, Mississippi.

Yes, America is still the land of the free and the home of the brave, the land where any man or woman willing to use his or her ability to the fullest extent can enjoy not only freedom but a balanced life and success that people in many other lands only dream about. God bless America.

Doing Better than Good!

People frequently ask me, “How can I know when I am doing better than good?” I thought about that question and came up with 15 ways to measure yourself. Take a look and see what you think:

You are doing better than good when you clearly understand that failure is an event, not a person; that yesterday ended last night, and today is your brand new day.

You are doing better than good when you have made friends with your past, are focused on the present, and optimistic about your future.

You are doing better than good when you know that success (a win) doesn't make you, and failure (a loss) doesn't break you.

You are doing better than good when you are filled with faith, hope and love; and live without anger, greed, guilt, envy or thoughts of revenge.

You are doing better than good when you are mature enough to delay gratification and shift your focus from your rights to your responsibilities.

You are doing better than good when you know that failure to stand for what is morally right is the prelude to being the victim of what is criminally wrong.

You are doing better than good when you are secure in who you are, so you are at peace with God and in fellowship with man.

You are doing better than good when you have made friends of your adversaries, and have gained the love and respect of those who know you best.

You are doing better than good when you understand that others can give you pleasure, but genuine happiness comes when you do things for others.

You are doing better than good when you are pleasant to the grouch, courteous to the rude, and generous to the needy.

You are doing better than good when you love the unlovable, give hope to the hopeless, friendship to the friendless, and encouragement to the discouraged.

You are doing better than good when you can look back in forgiveness, forward in hope, down in compassion, and up with gratitude.

You are doing better than good when you know that "he who would be the greatest among you must become the servant of all."

You are doing better than good when you recognize, confess, develop and use your God-given physical, mental and spiritual abilities to the glory of God and for the benefit of mankind.

You are doing better than good when you stand in front of the Creator of the universe and He says to you, "Well done, thou good and faithful servant."

Think over each one of these 15 ideas and see how you can incorporate them into your life so that you truly are better than good!

Planning

If I were to ask the question, Would you like to improve your productivity dramatically without working any longer or any harder? Chances are pretty good that you would say, “That would be nice! I’d be more effective and I’d probably get a raise! I might even have more fun in the process.”

Question: How many of you, on the night before the day you were going on vacation, sat down and wrote out a list of the things you wanted to be certain to do before you left work the next day? Chances are extremely good that most of you would say you had done that. And most of you would also admit that you managed to complete more than twice the number of tasks you complete on a normal day.

Now think about this for a moment: If planning your job on the day before you go on vacation increases your productivity, doesn’t it make sense that if you were to spend a few minutes every day before you start your work day contemplating what is really important and what you really need to accomplish, that you would have the same great results? And the chances are excellent – definitely better than good – that this process will attract favorable attention, probably leading to more job security, perhaps a raise, and maybe even a significant promotion.

The reality is, productivity has a direct bearing on profitability, and all businesses are interested – very much so – in profits. Profitability comes from loyalty, productivity, and having a character base from which to work. So as you ponder this question, I hope you will seriously consider not only planning your schedule as you prepare to go on vacation, but that every day you will spend a few minutes before you go to work planning how you can be more effective that day

It doesn’t take long to plan; it does take a lot of time not to plan, because without a plan of action, people will impose on your time with idle chatter and requests that take you away from the task at hand. Not only will you be less effective, but the effectiveness of the people, who take your time for casual chatter, or in some cases gossip, will be greatly reduced and everybody, including management and leadership, will be very unhappy about that.

Chances are good, regardless of the job market, the most productive people with the right attitude are the ones who really have more job security, and in most cases a better income. When you feel good about yourself and your productivity, you probably will also be performing better at home. When there is no job related stress you are more aware of your mate and children, if you are a parent. You will spend more time being better organized so you can spend more time having that balanced life that all of us are really interested in.

Planning for a balanced life will enable you to deal with the physical, the mental, and the spiritual aspects of your life. It will also enable you to develop more friendships, and stronger, better, more lasting relationships. There are many benefits that go with making the plan a daily part of your life. Time well spent results in more money to spend, more money to save, and more time to vacation. It will allow you to attend more of your children’s ball games or school functions as well.

A plan is always successful if the plan is good. And if you’ve been on the job for any length of time, you can develop a better plan of action so that everyone benefits from it. I’m talking about planning today for tomorrow’s future. Think about it. I promise you’ll be more productive, happier, healthier, and have a much better chance for increased income when you are secure in who you are, where you are, and what you’re doing. I sincerely hope you’ll take action immediately to get that plan into your daily life.

The Next Hill to Climb

I recently received an interesting letter from one of our subscribers, quite complimentary. He pointed out that he particularly enjoyed one week's edition of the newsletter having to do with success. Then he elaborated on the fact that he has achieved so many things--God has been really good to him--and his question was, "I guess it's like winning the World Series or the Super Bowl. After you have done that, there simply isn't a Universe Series or a Galaxy Bowl to win. When you are on top, how do you find a bigger hill to climb? Or do you?"

Emphatically yes! The writer did not mention his real purpose in life, or how many people he had helped on his way to the top. What he can do now is clear: Identify clearly and distinctly what his purpose in life is. When he does that, I believe he will realize there are much higher hills to climb. They'll be tough, but very enjoyable at the same time. And out of it will come joy. Joy comes only when you do things for other people. You seldom experience joy when you focus on what you've been able to do. However, when you focus on what you can help someone else do, that lights a fire that is extraordinary.

Personal example. Many years ago, with the aid of key members of our staff, we created our Mission Statement to be the difference maker in the personal, family, professional and spiritual lives of enough people to make a positive difference in the world. Audacious? Of course it is! But when we wrote it, it was ridiculous! Very few people really knew who I was or what we did. Since then our works have been translated into over 40 different languages and dialects in several million books touting the philosophy that You can have everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want. Following that philosophy, the bottom line is countless people have benefited.

The letters we receive (in public seminars I show a photo of myself sitting behind my desk, on which are stacked over 5,000 letters from around the world) reveal the benefits people get from following through on what we teach. Few writers, if any, mention anything beyond the fact that they benefited and then they elaborate on what those benefits have been. When I receive that kind of correspondence, I am motivated and encouraged to "keep on keepin' on." I encourage anyone who is ever in North Dallas, Texas, to visit our offices where you can read as many of those letters as you wish, but I always like to warn that if you read very many you will leave our company with everything we offer in the form of inspiration, training, etc.

Reality is when you have a specific purpose in your life you are far more likely to maintain momentum than otherwise. I could get in a little commercial here and say if you read my book, Better Than Good, you will be able to clearly understand why. But in the meantime, let me encourage you to start working on discovering your real purpose in life--what gives you real joy? Have you ever reached down and lifted someone up with your words, your example, your career, your life, and they expressed gratitude for what you did for them? If you've done that even once, then you know what joy is all about.

I have pondered this for many years--I notice that many people start out on a specific objective (getting in better shape physically, getting better educated, winning more friends, influencing more people, etc.), but along the way they had no specifically designed purpose and so they dropped out. I can tell you seriously, and if we were seated in front of each other I would look you right in the eye and say, "Since July 4, 1972, when my purpose in life was clearly defined, not one time have I even thought casually about abandoning our mission statement." I had that dream and the dream had me.

Passion is important, but passion can wear you out if you don't clearly understand what you are pursuing--in short, if you have purpose the passion simply fuels the purpose. If you do not have purpose, passion wears you out. When you clearly understand that, you will realize that regardless of how many bucks you have in the bank, how high you are on the corporate totem pole, regardless of how healthy and happy and prosperous you are, you still have a huge hill to climb--and that is fulfilling our Biblical application of the Golden Rule, helping other people along life's path. When you do that, then your purpose will be crystal clear and the results foregone. God bless you as you ponder these things.

WAKE UP! PLAY HARD!! LAUGH YOURSELF TO SLEEP. NOW DO IT AGAIN!